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Posted 10/05/16 (Wed)

Have you ever had one of those “What the h…?” moments? You know. The one where you see or read something that utterly knocks your socks off.
I had one this past weekend.
It was a beautiful weekend. One of the best October weekends I can remember. Light or no winds. Comfortable temperature. Shirley was mowing the lawn and pulling weeds. She is real good that way. I was listening to the horses eat grain. I’m good at that. We all have our talents.
Then the phone starts to ring. Facebook people from Dunn County were calling. My picture was on the Dunn County Sheriff’s Facebook page.
Really! It seems I was involved in a car theft in Dickinson and had been apprehended in Dunn County! Well, not just me. I was part of a couple.
For some reason, I’m blaming Putin, my picture appeared over a headline that read “Couple arrested after driving car reported stolen!” And all the callers knew Shirley wouldn’t have been involved. That’s what they said. They knew Shirley wouldn’t have been involved. That hurt. That really hurt.
So Shirley called a county commissioner. She called the sheriff. She called the state’s attorney. The state’s attorney asked if there was a warrant out for my arrest! You can kind of see how Facebook is dumbing the world down.
But, because of Shirley’s fast action (and Irish temperament) the post was removed. Before any bounty hunters attempted to take me in.
That got me to thinking. Which again, Shirley has warned me against. What run-ins have I had with law enforcement? There was that time in the 60s when I was on the Rajah bus from NDSU to a football game in South Dakota. But that was a long time ago in a country far, far away.
And there was that time I left the grocery store early in the morning and didn’t have my headlights on. And a speeding ticket in Adams County. For like 68 in a 65.
That was it. Pretty clean record don’t you think?
Then I remembered Reno. You know Reno, Nevada.
I was apprehended for holding up a liquor store. I’d better explain.
Shirley and I and two other couples were attending a cattlemen’s convention in Reno. We had just gone out to supper about a mile from our hotel. For some reason, still a mystery to me, I had to buy supper.
When we left to head back to our motel, we couldn’t all fit in one cab. So, I offered to walk. After a fine steak supper, I knew I would enjoy the walk on a nice evening. I had my good felt hat on and a sport coat.
About a half mile from the hotel, a police car goes by, turns his lights on and flips a u-turn and comes back to me. Two officers jump out, guns drawn and tell me to get my hands up! Boy, they don’t get any argument or sass from me. I’m one scared cowboy!
In less than a minute I am surrounded by squad cars.
A guy wearing a gray cowboy hat had just robbed a liquor store near there. Now remember the cattlemen’s convention is going on. There are 4,000 guys wearing gray hats.
I explain that I had just come from supper. I even had the credit card receipt (that still upsets me) showing what time I left supper. Turns out the time was just perfect for me to leave supper, rob a liquor store, and get to the point I was.
Thankfully, just before they decided to take me in for torture and further questioning, they received a call that the real culprit had been apprehended.
I wanted a ride to the hotel, but they declined even that bit of apology. Be safe out there!