taoCMS™ Demo Site: Columnists

Home » Columnists »



Posted 3/15/16 (Tue)

G’day to ya laddie!

That’s how Grandpa Jack, who was a true Irishman, greeted many people. I had a lot of friends who would only see Jack maybe once a year. And they would be impressed, because “Jack remembered me!” Because he called them laddie.
As my regular readers are aware, St. Patrick’s Day is a pretty big day in our house. That’s what happens when you marry a Murphy. We become O’Meyers. We switch from Bud Light to Guinness. Or from Jack Daniels to Jamison whiskey.
As Grandpa used to say, “God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world!”
This past week a U.S. astronaut returned to earth after spending nearly a year in orbit! Which reminded me of two other famous astronauts who were launched into orbit from the County of Cork in the Emerald Isle.
The Irish are world-renowned explorers. Contrary to what is taught in many schools, many believe the Irish were the first to discover the new world. If you can call discovering a continent that had been inhabited by natives for thousands of years “discovering.”
Anyway, Mike and Paddy were selected to be the first explorers to be launched on a mission to the sun.
As they were lying in their dark cockpits, waiting to be blasted into space by a rocket propelled by an ethanol-blended fuel made from potatoes, Mike turned to Paddy and asked, “Won’t it be awful hot on the sun?”
Paddy turned to Mike with a look of disgust on his face, “Mike, ya bloomin idiot. That’s why we are going at night!”
Which reminds me of the story of the ventriloquist who had this Irish dummy on his knee. He was telling about the time Paddy fell into the vat at the Guinness brewery and drowned, after getting out three times to pee.
This gentleman jumped up and said, “You tell one more joke making us Irish out to be bumbling fools and I’ll come up and open a can of whoop ass on you!”
The ventriloquist began to apologize and the man stopped him. “I wasn’t talking to you! I’m talking to that blessed idiot on your knee!”

Have a Happy St. Pat’s Day,
Dean O’Meyer