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Posted 1/20/15 (Tue)


Winter months sometimes tend to lead to boredom. Days are short. Nights are long. And entertainment is sometimes lacking. Here in southwest North Dakota, we search for a way to spend long evenings. This weekend was the opening of a grocery store. Really. We celebrated the opening of a grocery store.
I guess it is kind of like the number of people that will attend your funeral. It depends mostly on what they are serving for lunch and the weather.
Well at the grand opening of this supermarket, the weather was great, and the free lunch was wonderful. There was music and free samples of wine and beer. Small samples. Really small. But I suppose that is just as well. But hundreds of people turned out. And the next morning, when the store opened for business, once again there were hundreds of people.
Anyway, I’m standing in line at the checkout counter. Most people had carts heaped up with paper towels and soft drinks, and snacks, and produce, and on and on and on.
But the guy in front of me, actually he was two people in front of me, was on crutches, and had an arm in a sling with only a bag of dog food.
The well-dressed lady between us was carrying some sushi, and bacon-wrapped shrimp. In an attempt to start a conversation, she asked the banged up guy if he had a dog. In retrospect, I don’t suppose that was a very intelligent question since he was carrying a bag of dog food.
The crippled guy looked at her and explained, “No, I’m on a dog food diet. I fill my pockets with dog food, and whenever I get the urge to eat, I simply reach in my pocket, and eat a nugget of this dog food.”
“Really,” she exclaimed! “How is it working?”
The gentleman quickly told her, “I lost several pounds the first month. Then I was out for walk one morning, and the next thing I know, I woke up in the hospital with all these broken bones, and tubes running in and out of my body!”
“My gosh,” the woman exclaimed! “Was it a reaction to the dog food?”
“Oh no,” he said. “I stepped off the curb to smell a French Poodle’s butt, and a car hit me!”
See what I mean about long winters.