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Posted 9/09/14 (Tue)


This weekend was a great one. We attended the wedding of a beautiful young lady that we kind of helped raise. Congratulations Karlee and Jared, or Jarret, or Jordan. You see my three favorite girls must have had the letter J hanging above their crib when they were young because I will forever wonder which one married whom. Or who. I never did understand that either. There are a lot of things in life I have trouble with.
Another thing I’ve struggled with is percentages. Now, I know it should be fairly simple. At least I thought it was. But I started to get mixed up when I saw athletes that give 110 percent, or 200 percent. Now, back when I was in school, 100 percent was all there was. Oh, you could double it by adding another 100 percent, but that had to come from somewhere else. If you gave all you had, that was giving 100 percent. Made sense to me.
And if you ran a retail store and put on a sale with 50 percent off, I figured that was going to be half price. But then they got in to deals like car rebates. Or a truck rebate. Now, if they are giving a $5,000 rebate, why not just take the five off the selling price? I still struggle with that.
This discussion all started at the wedding dance the other night. Evan, one of my grandsons, was pretty sick. And he is a cool kid. He didn’t want anyone to leave the dance early to take him back to the room, because he could see everyone was having a good time. Like I said, he is a cool kid.
Well, it was getting close to 9 o’clock, which is my bedtime anyway, so I asked Evan how he was feeling. Did I mention he was a second grader? He thought a minute and replied, “I’m at about 85 percent.” Really. 85 percent. And a second grader. About one-half hour later, I was really ready to go, so I asked Evan how he was. “A little better. About 93 percent!”
I figured that was reason enough to leave, so Grandma and I loaded some kids up and headed for the room.
Like most grandparents, my grandchildren are geniuses. So I figured this superior knowledge of percentages was developed at this early age because we read them books (Western Horseman and The Quarter Horse Journal). And listen to classical music (Chris LeDoux and Bob Wills). By the time they get to the first grade they know every word and can sing the National Anthem. Although they think of it as “Bareback Riders get Ready.” And they can read road maps and know how long it takes to get from Dickinson to Belle Fourche, and from Camp Crook to Rapid.
So, this morning, I was complimenting Jen, Evan’s mother, about this genius child. And how the superior genetics has developed this super mind that understands the concept of percentages in the second grade.
She crushed my theory in an instant. He learned percentages by playing on the phone and iPad. Because it shows in the corner what percentage of charge is left. Damn.
I always wondered what the heck that meant.
But then, I got to thinking. I’ll start rating everyone around this outfit with this percentage deal. The day after the wedding, Evan was down to about 70 percent. Grandma, who retired to the room when I did, was about 95 percent. Evan’s parents, who stayed at the dance much later, were red-lining at about 20 percent on Sunday afternoon. I, being the elder, pretty much stay at about 65 percent. Day or night. Rain or shine.
Hopefully, you are all at 100 percent!