taoCMS™ Demo Site: Columnists

Home » Columnists »



Posted 9/15/10 (Wed)

You Probably Grew Up In The Rural Midwest If . . .
1. You know how to polka, but never tried it sober.
2. You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.
3. You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go barhopping between the wedding and the reception.
4. You know the difference between “Green” and “Red” farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!
5. You buy the majority of your Christmas presents at a ‘Farm & Fleet’ or ‘Tractor Supply.’
6. You spent more on beer and liquor than you did on food at your wedding.
7. You have ever tried to get your city cousins to pee on the electric fence.
8. You or someone you know was a “Bean/Sugar Queen” at the county fair.
9. You know that “combine” is a noun.
10. You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.
11. You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.
12. You know that “creek” rhymes with “pick.”
13. Football schedules, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.
14. A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer.
15. There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning... phew.
16. You have driven your car on a lake.
17. You can make sense of “upnort” and “batree.”
18. At every wedding reception you have ever been to, the hokey pokey and the chicken dance have been played.
19. Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.
20. The local gas station sells live bait.
21. At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.
22. You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.
23. Pop is the only name for soda.
24. You know that the “Opener” refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a religious holiday and you can get breakfast at the church.
25. You wave at everyone when you are driving. It’s called being friendly.