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Posted 7/07/10 (Wed)

By Neal A. Shipman
Farmer Editor

It’s another Monday holiday and once again, I’m at work wrapping up the last minute photos from the 4th of July weekend. And as is becoming pretty commonplace on Monday holidays, my column seems to take the back burner until everything else is done and ready for the week’s newspaper.
So once again, I’m pulling out an email that was sent to me that contains some pretty darn good observations on life. Read on and enjoy.

Wisdom With Smiles

1. The nicest thing about the future is it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you have no sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7.  Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that, at class reunions, you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. It could be a right number.
13. No one ever says “It’s only a game” when their team’s winning.
14. I’ve reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There’s no way you’re going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize in about 40 years we’ll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)
18. Money can’t buy happiness - but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than in a Ford Focus.
19. After 70 if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.
20. If you make friends with a snake, don’t be surprised when it bites you.
21. Women live through the ears. Men through the eyes.