Posted 3/18/09 (Wed)
Top o’ the mornin,’ Laddie,
Tis that week of the greatest of all the holidays. The celebratin’ of St. Patrick. A day of clovers, green beer, Jameson whiskey, Guiness beer, wee people, corned beef and cabbage, Irish stew, and Irish ballads.
Tis true, I be not a drop of Irish, but I married an Irish lass, so with the help of Grandpa Jack, I learned to love the Irish tradition. Grandpa always said that God invented whiskey to “keep the Irish from ruling the world!”
Anyway, it seems that Paddy was making his way home from the pub in County Cork one evening. He’d shared more than a pint with his many friends and was a bit wobbly in his gait.
As he was shuffling along, and maybe, just maybe, not in a real straight line, he stubbed his toe on a bottle. Falling to the ground, he reached back to see what kind of devil reached out in the dark and tripped him. His hand came upon the bottle. Well, being of Irish descent, he held it up in the moonlight and rubbed it, trying to see if perhaps he had come across a bottle of Jameson.
Poof! A bolt of lightning came from the bottle, shot up into the sky, did a couple of loop-de-loops, and came crashing back to him! Here was a beautiful, red-haired, fair skinned, Irish genie!
“Paddy,” she says, “I’ve been cooped up in that bottle for three thousand years. And for freeing me, I’ll be grantin’ ya’ three wishes!”
“Ah,” Paddy says, “I’d be wantin’ a pint of Guiness.”
Just like that, Poof! Paddy has a pint of Guiness in his hand. He commences to drinking it, while the genie watches on.
“Tis a fine pint you serve,” Paddy comments.
The genie explained that she was an Irish genie, so knew full well what kind of beer should be served. And she explained to Paddy, “That is a magic pint. It will never go dry. As quick as you drink it down, the pint will refill with more Guiness!”
Well, Paddy, has to check this out. So he quickly downs his pint. Sure enough, in a wee minute, it fills back up. Indeed, it was a magic pint.
By now, the Irish genie was a little impatient.
“Paddy, you have two more wishes.”
Paddy quickly replies, “Just give me two more of these!”
An Irish blessing: May God bless those that love us, and those that don’t love us, may God turn their hearts so they do. And if He can’t turn their hearts, may He turn their ankles so we’ll know them by their limp.