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HAT TIPS

Posted 12/30/09 (Wed)

Happy New Year!

I sure hope you finished digging out from the Christmas blizzard. It is hard to tell how much snow we received, but it dang sure blew in a lot of places and made some wonderful drifts. Shirley is getting to be such an “old stick in the mud.” I wanted her to come out in the yard and help me build a snow cave where the snow came over the trees. Grandkids are still in Minnesota or South Dakota, so I’ve had to play alone lately. Well, Grandma doesn’t think she should have to build snow caves! She’s just no fun anymore.
As usual, you just start getting over Christmas and New Year’s pops up. Now, if I were in charge, I would space them out a little better. You should have like a month in between major holidays. I would celebrate New Year’s in August. We don’t have any good holidays in August. You could go to the lake. Go golfing. Rope steers. Have a family picnic. I mean, the whole world is waiting for a good August holiday. Instead, we celibate, I mean celebrate, but that too, in the winter when it is ten below and snowing! You have to sit around in the dark for hours waiting for the stroke of midnight so you can hug and kiss people you don’t really like and wish them well. Spreading H1N1 and drinking sticky drinks! Give me August and a drink with ice in it.
This is the week you start your resolutions. Maybe. I went back and reviewed a couple columns where I listed my resolutions. Oh, I had the usuals. Quit smoking. Lose weight. Get column in on time. Spend more time with family. You know. The usual stuff. And you do it year after year.
Not me. I am not going to fall into that trap. I am going to make resolutions that I can keep. Here goes.
I am going to write my column at the last possible minute. Maybe even a day late. I work better under pressure.
I am going to play more  poker tournaments, and spend more afternoons playing pinochle.
I am going to shave at least once a week and bathe on Saturdays like we did when we were kids. Not the shaving. The bathing.
I will not attempt to lose weight, merely hold my own. I think I am like a yield grade 5 steer and have topped out.
I will spend more time with grandkids and make sure they are completely spoiled when they are returned to their parents.
I will assure Gracy, Gage, Evan, and RJ that chocolate is “breakfast” if it is morning.
I will not tell Shirley to bucket feed the cows behind the barn when I know there is one there that will chase her. Even if it is kind of fun watching.
I will not put water in the neighbor’s rain gauge after every shower. Even if I enjoyed hearing him brag about how much rain he got.
I will not dump the water out of the neighbor’s rain gauge, just to hear him complain how little rain he received.
I will not put a dead fish under the seat of Doug’s pickup. Unless he leaves it unlocked in front of the bar.
Oh, there are some others I plan on trying. But you get the gist of things. I am looking forward to a pleasant and prosperous…… No, scratch that. I just read that if you aren’t rich by the time you are thirty-five, you are not going to be. I am looking forward to a pleasant and relaxing New Year.
Have a good one! Hey, and remember, St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner!

Later,
Dean